I just wanted to say out loud that we are super duper lucky to have a healthy child. Despite the potential speech delays, the supposed red flags of autism that the speech pathologists have seen, and the near constant crying as of late. I am feeling so lucky today because a friend of mine and her husband who are currently raising a healthy child just had a second child, a son, and he is not doing well. He is receiving all of his nourishment from a tube and his warmth from an incubator. It should not be this way but it is…and I’m worried for them. So despite my bitching, worrying, and tears we are unbelievably lucky that we were able, off to bat, to bring G home. To hold her close, smell her skin…her hair…her sweet milky baby breath, not have to be careful of tubes and beeping machines…that we had and have a healthy child.
Children are a mystery to me and I don’t really like mysteries. So as I read my friend’s husband’s impromptu blog I am lost and dazed a bit by the mysteries of a child born full term, weighing so little, and needing so much care. I do not pray, nor do I believe in one God (I believe (mostly) in all of the Gods) but days like these make me doubt any inkling of belief that I have.